You said you'd be my punching bag. Changed your mind?
Easy come easy go huh.

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Feels like I'm missing out on a lot of things. Maybe I'm just envious. Maybe I'm just grumpy. Arghhh. Must be my uterus talking again. Sian. I feel so damn sian.

Arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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I've learned a lot. A lot about myself, friends, people who aren't really your friends, evil people, terrible terrible TERRIBLE people (I cannot stress this more), people who are on your side, people who aren't, people who pretend to be (but actually aren't), people who are neutral but love to gossip and then there are those you regret trusting..

It's a shame how you thought that some of these people were your friends.. But turns out that they were probably the ones who started the nonsense against you? That feeling sucks. Its a sense of betrayal.

Firstly, it sucks that you guys assume this and that. Instead of sticking up for me, instead of clarifying with me, you go and spread nonsense about it. If you actually treated me as your friend, you wouldn't do that. But since you chose your path.. I'll respect that. Strangers we will be.

However, you're unlike the rest. Instead of leaving... You're still here. In my life. And with those lying eyes, with your double-faced self, you constantly appear in front of me. Time and time again, I tell myself, "you won't hurt me and my trust in you again... You're my trusted friend, you're on my side. You trust me and I trust you". But guess what? This time it hurts so bad.

I thought that when the whole world stood against me, siding the story that they so happily fabricated, the story that was supposedly portrayed in her dance, the story of the "stupid reason and the slut involved and the betrayal and hurt".... I thought that even when that happened, at least you would stick up for me when you hung out with them. But I was wrong.

It's been some time. Half a year? Its time to wake up, and realize that you're not my friend. In fact. You're the enemy now. The one who hurt me the most.

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Today has been terrible.

It started off okay. I went to tan tock seng. And it went downhill from then on. Got an angry message. I tried to rectify the problem. Which was my fault, I admitted and I apologized. But that wasn't any use apparently. Then because of that I got a giant headache. And then there was this sharp pain and I fell down. Spas. Then I got a call from jtc for internship but I already have one so o rejected. Then grandpa looked really bad. The doctor told us to get ready. Then when I thought things couldn't get any worse, the forgiveness wasn't even real. I don't get it, what more do you want from me. Let me know.. I've been stuffed into a corner. I don't know what you want from me. Then I got really hurtful words. I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know what to do. I can't study. I can't sleep. What am I supposed to do. I'm really lost now.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.